Thinking of You
by Fluttering Phalanges
Summary: Song by Katy Perry. Brennan loses Booth and is blaming herself for what she did after he died.


**Song by Katy Perry. Please review!**

_Comparisons are easily done  
Once you've had a taste of perfection  
Like an apple hanging from a tree  
I picked the ripest one  
I still got the seed_

Brennan stared sadly out the window. She couldn't believe herself. She had tricked herself to fall in love with Sully when she truly loved Booth. Had she been so desperate to be with somebody after the accident?

_You said move on  
Where do I go  
I guess second best  
Is all I will know_

Booth had told her to be happy. But she was miserable. How could she do this to him? How could she throw him away like that? Was she that horrible of a person?

"Tempe?" a voice said behind her.

She turned around to see Sully standing there.

"Hey." She said quickly wiping tears from her eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be upstairs in a minute." She said.

"Okay." He said kissing her. "I love you." He whispered.

She nodded sadly.

_Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes_

Brennan flashed back to the memories of her and Booth.

"_Nice job Bones!" Booth said flashing his brilliant smile at her as they sat in their normal booth at the Royal Diner._

"_I couldn't have solved it without you Booth." She smiled at him._

"_I guess we make the perfect team." He smiled at her. He lifted up his mug of coffee, "Cheers?"_

_She laughed and picked up her mug, "Cheers."_

_They clinked mugs and took a swig._

Brennan's memory ended. She sat there in silence.

_You're like an Indian summer  
In the middle of winter  
Like a hard candy  
With a surprise center  
How do I get better  
Once I've had the best  
You said there's  
Tons of fish in the water  
So the waters I will test_

All of Brennan's happy memories were with Booth. He made a grey blue day pink and rosy. He made a depressing murder case disappear. He made her understand that she gave Zach the best gift of all of the gifts they collected the items from Zach's room when he was sent to the rehabilitation instuition. He had made her understand that she was beautiful and special when others hadn't convinced her.

He had told her if anything were to happen to him that she must go on with life. She was too wonderful to be alone. But she didn't believe him but when it happened she freaked out. She went into shock, she couldn't believe it happened. She only stayed with Sully because she was confused and alone without Booth. She did it because she was scared, she didn't love Sully, only Booth.

_He kissed my lips  
I taste your mouth  
He pulled me in  
I was disgusted with myself_

When she kissed Sully she thought of Booth. For once in months she was happy. But she learned later that it wasn't real happiness, her mind had tricked her. She had lied to herself. How could she be so stupid?

_Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into..._

"What would you do Booth?" Brennan thought staring out the window.

"Would you have been stupid like me? No, you would have stayed loyal. You could cope with lose better than me." Tears started to stream out of her eyes.

Brennan had another memory flash back:

"_Bones?" Booth asked taking her by the hand._

"_Yes?" she asked staring into his chocolaty brown eyes._

"_This might seem stupid and utterly embarrassing but… I think I'm in love with you…"_

_Brennan smiled, tears welded up in her eyes, "I'm in love with you too Booth."_

_They both leaned over and passionately kissed. Fireworks went off in both of their heads._

_She had promised herself that she would only love Seeley Booth. _

Brennan's memory ended. She had promised, but she had broken it.

_You're the best  
And yes I do regret  
How I could let myself  
Let you go  
Now the lesson's learned  
I touched it I was burned  
Oh I think you should know_

Booth was the best. Her heart broke when he had gotten a letter from the military saying they need more forces and Booth had to go to Iraq.

"_Don't worry." He said to her as they stood in front of the airport. "I'll be back before you know it."_

"_Promise me, promise me you'll be safe." She said looking in his eyes._

_He smiled at her, "Promise." _

_They kissed one final goodbye before Booth departed._

_Little did Brennan know that was their final goodbye._

_Several months later Brennan got a later from the military saying that Booth had died in combat. _

_She was devastated. She sobbed hysterically. She destroyed her apartment and office. She quit her job. Anything that reminded her off Booth, she left behind. She had tricked herself into thinking she could handle pain. Now she knew she couldn't._

_Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes  
Looking into your eyes  
Looking into your eyes  
Oh won't you walk through  
And bust in the door  
And take me away  
Oh no more mistakes  
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay..._

Brennan pulled something out of her pocket. It was a small Brainy Smurf and a pig named Jasper that Booth had given her. She hugged them close.

"I'm so sorry Booth." She sobbed. "So sorry."

It started to rain outside. Brennan grabbed a raincoat and her car keys and left the house. She didn't care if Sully didn't know where she was.

She drove about 45 minutes before she pulled up to the Soldier Memorial Grave Site. She got out of the car in the pouring rain and started searching,

"Boma… Bonor...Boones…" she paused, "Booth…"

She sunk to the ground, "I'm so sorry Booth, I never deserved you." She sobbed.

Her clothes were caked in mud. She pulled the two figurines from her pocket and kissed them both.

She placed both into the ground in front of Booth's grave.

"I love you Seeley Booth. I will always."

She stood up and returned to her car.

As the car drove away a figure could be seen standing beside Booth's grave.

"You never disappointed me Bones. I'm just sorry I could spend more time with you. I love you and I will always. You might not believe in heaven but boy when you see it…I'll be waiting for you Bones. Live a long happy life and remember, you mean the world to me.

The figure disappeared into the stormy sky.

**I hope you enjoyed this story. It was sad but please be nice when you review!**


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